{ Trapped Inside with Humor-Rich Teenagers }

I live with 4.75 teenagers. These were once my babies and now are unique creatures who often resemble fragrant, helpful allies and other days pose as smelly, ungrateful strangers.

Like dependent joeys, they once hovered around me for transportation, food and internet passwords. Now some of them drive cars, buy their own chips and stop whispering when I walk into a room. 

“What did you say? Who’s doing what?” I plead like a pitiful toddler. Life has cruelly circled around — I am now the one who craves to be let in on secrets and it is I who must take naps.

One of my teenagers currently displays an unusual, robotic sense of humor — like when he greets me at breakfast by pointing sharply at me and saying:

Target Acquired.

We discussed respect / disrespect today. Sometimes I ask him to complete a chore and he jokingly answers:

Yes, I will not do that.

When I was finished with my mini respect lecture, he offered me a rigid handshake, peered at me with a robotic stare and stated in a monotone:

Thank you for your candor. 

Minutes later, he offered me another stiff hand and droned:

Congratulations. You have been reinstated as our mother for another five years. 

We had some other options, but this worked for us right now.

After eating the lunch I prepared for him, he approached me again with: 

Congratulations. Your term as mother has now been extended for the next TEN years.

Unless you perish.

Time for a nap.

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Photos:

Franck V.

Rock’n Roll Monkey

{ Blunders, Blossoms & More }

 

 

 

This week, I finished two things.

  • I finished a writing project– an 1800-word health article. The problem with writing about health supplements is that when I complete one, it gets me thinking, “I need some of that!” So, the jar of herbal supplement pictured above came from Amazon this week. It’s supposed to suppress my sugar cravings?
  • I finished the book The Willpower Instinct, which I added to my Winter Reading Contest list.  What I liked: The author gives lots of practical tips on how to overcome bad habits. What I didn’t like: Modern scientist authors usually present evolution as a logically accepted, scientific fact. Interesting…because macro-evolution is not science.  It does not follow the scientific method, not being observable or repeatable. That said, other than these kinds of assumptions, I really liked the book. 🙂

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On Monday, we took a rare field trip to a local ski hill, since it was Homeschool Ski & Snowboard Day.  We were the first ones that showed up, arriving 1.5 hours before the chairlifts started lifting. Mark this day down in history.

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To go skiing, I wore the LL Bean jacket that my husband gave me 20+ years ago.  One lady remarked that she liked my vintage jacket.  A little girl asked me, “How do you take that thing off?”

I’m just glad I didn’t break any bones wearing it.

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Here I am with my two beginning skiers: Gianny & Marco.  They started their beginner lesson at 10:00. The teacher shooed the parents away, so I took to the hills with my 13-year old Ava.  After 20 minutes, I thought I’d go check on the boys.  We were halfway down a hill when I heard a familiar voice yelling, “Hi, Mama!”

Words cannot describe how surprised I was to see Marco on the chairlift, seated beside two strangers.  I had left him safely gliding down the bunny hill, supervised by a team of ski instructors. But now here he was, 20 minutes later, waving and smiling confidently from high on the chairlift.  A few thoughts went through my head:

  • Did he leave the hill and follow us without permission from the teacher?  
  • What is he thinking?  
  • How can I hurry up there and help him down the hill before he tries to ski down alone?

Then, Ava and I watched him sail down the hill like an expert.  The truth was: Marco did so well with his beginner lesson that the teacher graduated him early and told him to head to the chairlift and enjoy the hills. Whaaaa?!  After I recovered from the shock, it was clear to me that he was capable and fearless. It made me giggle to see his little beginner body cruise down the hills with ease. I still smile to think about it.  He’s got good Scandinavian blood, no fear and the faith of a child. 🙂

 

 

 

So, yesterday I didn’t make dinner. (Almost as rare as a day at the ski hill.)

I ate out with my younger children. because Chik Fil A was giving free sandwiches if you wear your MN Wild hockey jersey.

Later, I came home to a few grumpy, hungry and bewildered young adults that couldn’t seem to hunt and gather food for their dinner.

(These are the same young adults that are often out and about and don’t eat the dinner that I regularly make.)

The cupboard was a bit sparse, but we had eggs, milk, bread, butter and cereal.  And a few other things.  Let’s use our imagination?

Sigh.  Mama got mad and started to bang pans around in her bothered haste to make some food. Then she walked into her room where one of said young adults had, one hour earlier, gently laid three flower bouquets on the desk with a loving note attached.

Tears. Laughter. More tears. Hugs. Repentance all around and smiles.

After this, I happened to read through Dolly Mama’s blog post and shed more tears.

So…that was a slice of my life this week.

 

{ I Have a Superpower }

 

I woke up today

Realizing that I have a superpower.

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I can make my teenage sons

  • Roll their Eyes
  • Smirk
  • Shake their heads.

So, far it’s working pretty well.

I just have to figure out how to channel it into something useful.

I feel my superpower coming upon me when I:

  • Say a phrase like “street cred” and use it in a sentence
  • Talk about the latest sports trade like I’m interested
  • Use initials when I speak of famous athletes, like they are my personal friends
  • Purposely misuse hip slang words
  • Drag the virtual into the world of reality – “I really like that you liked my Instagram post.”
  • Sarcastically over-praise them for minor things that I’m happy about: “I think it’s great that you made your bed today. (thumbs up) You’re the best.”

Sometimes I follow up a trendy phrase with a wink and I flash the peace sign.

They might be a little puzzled…. unless they read this blog post.

Which they never do.

 

© Lisa M. Luciano

Mother of six boys,

who all seem to still love me,

despite my superpowers and super failures.

Word Prompt of the Day – Glimmer

 

{ Drone Rescue }

Mo got his drone yesterday!  Coming from China, it was hard to track in the mail.  The suspense has been palpable here for a few weeks.

When the mailman handed it over, Mo was…thrilled.  I want to be thrilled with him.  But I don’t want it flying much around the house.

He wanted to fly it outside where I could watch from my cozy indoor spot. It makes me cry to think about it, because thirteen-year-olds are seldom so jubilant.

I watched and cheered along with other family members.

Then it got stuck in a tree!  We all mourned together.  Gino climbed very high to get it.  My emotions bounced from drone enthusiasm to shock, to hopefulness and then fear as big brother scaled the tree.

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Drone Rescue

When it was all over, Mo smiled again as he steered his drone into a flip.

(This is an important drone move.)

I kept watching, but felt like I needed a nap after all the commotion.  After all, I’m still getting over two Thanksgivings and the busy weekend isn’t over yet…

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Lishi L-6056 Drone Pilot

 

© Lisa M. Luciano 😊